UNC Football....an analogy

I came up with a real life analogy last night.

Over the past 20 years, UNC football has been a lot like tracking a middle-aged man's romantic life. It's not exciting, at times its depressing, with a couple highs and too many lows to count.






We had a sexy young thing walk out on us 12 years ago and we didn't really see it coming. We were devastated, but tried to justify it like maybe we could do better. We convinced ourselves it wasn't that tragic of a loss. It was.







(Our sexy young thing...with his NCAA champ trophy)







Not long after she left, we realized just how unattractive we were to hot young talent. We got some suitors, but we followed our big head instead of our little one and dated our ex's best friend. It was a disaster. We stuck with it too long, got fat and out of shape, and eventually grew the stones to break if off.


(the rebound...ugh)















Sadly, we found ourselves single, aging, out of shape...still able to bring something to the table but not a great catch, if you will. So we started dating a girl from high school.




(ladies and gentlemen, the worst move ever... John Bunting)


At first, everyone was so happy for us - it made so much sense! We had history together! Big promises were made. Hope sprung eternal. But, it turns out, it was a match made in hell. We had grown in our own mind and wanted more than the homely girl from the small town had to offer. Plus she was somewhat "challenged" and we began to shy from taking her in public. We waited far too long, but we eventually told her to hit the bricks.

It was a fresh breath of freedom.

So we joined a gym, got in shape, bought a new suit and went to the big boy club. We talked with our happy and successful friends about how they went about managing their life. And then....We landed a cougar. A cougar with money. And a crew of hot cougar friends.


(mmmmmmm, Cougar!)


And here we are, 12 years after being jilted, 9 years after being embarassed, 5 years after nearly throwing in the towel...

And we're bitching about our hot, rich, fun loving cougar's crow's feet.


(Butch Davis, UNC's cougar)

Let's get it together, Tar Heel fans. It's been a bad two weeks. But its been a shitty 12 years! It's a weird situation we're in now with the Offensive (literally) Line and its affecting the entire offense. That's not all that surprising. We're in a better place as a program than we have been since 1997 when Mack walked out.

Walk the line.