[Speaking of When Nature Calls, did you know that Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje ^^ played a bit role in the film before going on to play memorable parts in Oz (Adebisi - the scariest bunk mate of all time) and Lost (Mr. Ecko - who remains my top pick in the Lost-spawned "who I would make friends with immediately on a haunted deserted island" game)? I bet you didn't.]
I have good reason for said delay, however. We're in the midst of a move. And as everyone knows, moving sucks. 4 months ago we moved from our top floor Pacific Heights apartment with its glorious 1/2 block walk to the shops on Fillmore street. It was horrific. We packed up 9 years of California life into our rent-portioned space in an oversized 80 foot truck and left the life we knew. Truth be told, that wasn't the worst part. No, the worst part was realizing the enormous dichotomy in our situation. Going from our relatively plush digs in SF to the stark reality of a cinder block sublet on a gravel road. It was quite the contrast. At first, it wasn't so bad. But day after day it would eat away at me like a self-judging ulcer. After a few weeks the smallest of cobwebs would send me into a rage. Lately I've taken to kicking permanent fixtures in the sublet to let it know my disapproval. It hasn't yet retaliated, but if and when it does I'm gonna beat the living daylights out of it with a rusted out aluminum bat I found in the yard. Yeah, its that kind of a redneck spot.
Alas, it all becomes okay this Friday. This Friday, we move into a house. A real live house. With multiple entrances, rooms, AC, ceiling fans, problems, light fixtures (coming circa late September apparently), newly sanded and coated hardwood floors, more than one bathroom, a kitchen you can turn around in...the works.
The House:
Needless to say, its been a long haul. The last time I lived in a house was 1994. Holy shit. I hadn't realized that until I wrote it. I've been living in apartments for 15 years. Regardless (although I'm still stuck on the whole 15 years thing, might take me a minute to get over it) come the first of August, we're BACK, baby! Invites will be sent out soon enough. If you don't get one, please don't take offense. Its just that you are pretty low on the visitor priority list and it may take some time to get to you.
And this move won't be so bad. We have hired this company called TROSA to do the move. Now here's a story about a guy who made good on a niche. This TROSA company is basically a program for recovering drug and alcohol addicts that come and move your stuff for like $15/hr. There's a minimum, but its super low, and you get 3 guys for the price of 1 guy at most moving companies. And the catch? If any of the recovering addicts get out of line, don't show up, etc.. they are out of the program. The guy who runs it ensures that they are mannered, friendly, etc... Now, I've got some experience with drug addicts and drunks. I call it "friendship". So I'm not too concerned about that aspect. But that's beside the point. What I'm driving at is this. The guy that started this program saw a 3 fold problem: 1) Addicts need stuff to keep their mind off of using, 2) Moving sucks and people want other people to do it for them, 3) Moving is way too expensive. So he comes up with a moving company that gives addicts a purpose, helps the community at large, and gets the consumer moved for dimes on the dollar. Kudos, sir. Well done.
Speaking of moving, my PNC Malvin is moving as well this month. After roughly 10 years in New York (inclusive of the infamous Montclair, NJ era) my boy is leaving the Apple. He and his newly betrothed are packing up their lives as they know it and heading for Minnesota. But rest easy, that's not their final destination (yet). No, its merely a pit stop to dump all their earthly possessions on their path to do-goodership in Eastern and Western sub-Saharan Africa. Malvin and Manda are going to volunteer their time and considerable skills during the worst global economy of our lifetimes to improving those specific corners of the globe for the residents of Tanzania and Ghana. Now, I'm sure you are thinking that they are probably just doing it for easy access to the cheap saffron of Zanzibar and to get their grubby hands on some blood diamonds in Sierra Leone if at all possible - but I'm fairly confident that their motives are legitimately altruistic. Why? Because Manda is going. If it were just Malvin we'd all be wondering "to what end"? And it would make sense. The guy has wanted to travel his whole life and is fascinated with the Motherland. One could easily see this as a joy ride for him. But Manda is going. Manda of Columbia Law School. Manda who anchors the high-powered and well paying litigation team at Foley and Lardner. Manda who clerked for the State Supreme Court in their future home state of Minnesota. If she's going then one has difficulty applying the shady and self-serving motivations typically associated with a Malvin Moore caper. So, lets all take a moment to congratulate these two for leaving their lives of comfort and privlege and going out to make the world a better place. I, nay "we", salute you! You make America proud.
And so, I must sign off for now. Next up: My Top 5 Rock Bands: Why Led Zepplin rules or Why the Beatles aren't a real Rock Band....
How the hell is that couch floating?
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