Top 5s

Everyone loves a Top 5. Top 5's were awesome even before the John Cusack cult classic, High Fidelity, but as a result of this stellar and under appreciated flick the art of creating a Top 5 has become part of the common American experience.

To wit, over the past year I've created the following Top 5s:

Top 5 Fave Tar Heels of all time (ever changing; don't take it personally, Vince!)
Top 5 Laminated List (everyone knows this - you can hit it, free of penalty!)
Top 5 People to Party With
Top 5 Celebrity Interactions
Top 5 Guilty Pleasure Songs
Top 5 Small Batch Bourbons
Top 5 Teen Movies
Top 5 Craigslist Weirdness Moments
Top 5 Jobs I've had
Top 5 Kills on the Wire
Top 5 Drunk Anar moments
Top 5 Cars I've had

etc...etc... this game is endless fun. Having trouble making conversation at dinner? Just pick a topic and throw Top 5 in front of it. You can find hilarity and debate around every corner.

For instance: my wife, a stunningly intelligent woman was pressed on her Top 5 People to Party With. Over a round of cocktails at The Royal Oak, an historic SF watering hole, she comprised her epic list. Bill Clinton made it due to his immense sway worldwide and his womanizing. Michael Jordan didn't make it because (and I quote) "I've already done that...". Stevie Nicks made it, which came as no surprise to those of us who know Kelley. Down to that critical final component - the 5th piece - she faltered. She picked Don Henley. DON HENLEY. Are you kidding me? Dirty Laundry, Don Henley? The guy who ruined pop music for months on end with All She Wants to Do is Dance? Lead singer of the crappiest, most overrated band of all time the stinkin' Eagles, Don Henley? A guy who's greatest musical contribution was having a daughter hot enough to inspire noted psychopath Axl Rose to write Sweet Child O' Mine???



(Sidebar: I will openly admit that I made that last part up. Axl wrote that song about Erin Everly, daughter of Don Everly of the Everly Brothers. But its a great segue for this: think about it - what song has had a greater social impact than Sweet Child over the past 25 years? Hint: none. Also, I want to add that I know nothing about Don Everly and I'd still put him higher on my people to party with than Don Henley. The Eagles blow.)

Yes, THAT Don Henley. What a truly horrible pick. The moral of the story is that in the end, its HER pick and a good husband would appreciate that and let it go after a few weeks of good natured ribbing instead of constantly hounding her about how in god's name you could use your crucial 5th pick on a guy that couldn't get back together with Stevie Nicks AFTER she got fat and lost her voice.... but I digress.


(No, you go ahead honey...I'll watch Leo during your "party")

The point of that little tangent for us is - anything can happen. My buddy Anar - of making out with chicks just slightly hotter than Roger Federer's ugly wife and getting killed for it fame - is actually married to a gorgeous and quite funny lady himself. When pressed for her Top 5 People to Party With she went with David Blaine AT NUMBER 1 with no hesitation. Seriously, David Blaine. This guy:


She wants to have a magician with her crew, first and foremost!!! Is that weird? You bet your ass it is. Is it funny? Absolutely. Have we harassed Sheri over her immediate and unbridled choice of an illusionist as her top guy to throw down with? Constantly. Can this new Top 5 list concept save your awkward double dates and be the social ice breaker you've been searching for all these years? Try it for yourself and see.

My lists will be forthcoming shortly.